this morning my nano was missing, (more than likely the work of two little boys.) resulting in the opportunity for me to do a lot of thinking on my morning run. as they say in beauty & the beast "a dangerous past time, i know"... but, today, i probably needed it. lately i've been feeling a bit overwhelmed & i thought the time to ponder & self-reflect might do me some good - i might be able to come up with some solutions. yeah, it didn't really work up out like i planned. i'm still at a total loss & so i turn to you. how do you manage life? okay, i'll admit, that's very broad & a little vague. like all of you, i've got a lot going on in life. someone might look at me & see simply a mother or a wife, but there's definitely more to me than that. i'm also an accountant, cook, daughter, concierge, laundress, sister, secretary, entrepreuner, nanny, therapist, seamstress, friend, chaffeur, director of business development, gardener, personal dresser, decorator, handyman, dog walker, teacher, maid... & those are just the titles that spring to mind quickly. the point being, as i mentioned earlier, i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. and don't get me wrong, i LOVE my life & wouldn't change it for the world. i'm not at all complaining, i just need help learning to manage it all. i mean, let's be honest here... i only have two kids, neither of them are in school & our only extra-curricular activity is swimming. in a couple of years i may (or may not) have a whole herd of children, i'm sure one or two will be in school & i'm almost 99% sure i'll be driving them to a whole slew of activities. so if i feel like i'm dropping the ball now, i don't even want to think about what it's going to be like then. so what are your thoughts? suggestions? any self-help books i should read?
& while we're on the subject... a little bit of an off-shoot what i'd like to explore involves blogging. more specifically, how do you manage the whole blogging aspect of life? for example, for me blogging is definitely addicitive. i love having a place where i can post my "thoughts & ramblings about life." i love being able to conncect with people - friends, family & people i never would have otherwise met. i love being exposed to new & inspiring ideas & i love the connection i feel to the world around me. but, like everything in life, blogging does come without it's downside. lately i've been using a reader, definitely a handy little tool, but sometimes it can get overwhelming (for lack of a better word) when i sign in & i have 250 new posts to read. plus, i've found myself getting lazy when it comes to commenting, because it takes a little bit more effort. &, as much as i love reading blogs, i have to be careful. for one thing, it's so easy to go click, click, click & suddenly i've wasted hours, just staring at the computer. not to mention, if i let them, sometimes reading blogs can leave me feeling like i suck. (maybe you know the feeling? you aren't talented or creative enough? or you feel like a crappy mom, wife or friend?) anyway i've totally digressed. basically, i'm just interested in how you like to blog. do you post only when the mood strikes? do you read blogs daily, several times a day, a couple times a week? do you like to comment are you a lurker? what are you're favorite things about blogging? anything you dislike about it?
oh wow! this post is much longer & much more intense than i ever intended. hopefully i'll find my nano & will be able to avoid further thinking. in the meantime, what your thoughts on the subject(s)?
xoxo,K
Wow - way too much to answer in a comment. On the first paragraph: focus on the important stuff (your house being clean isn't always important, for example), take time for yourself, and ask for help when you need it (and don't feel bad about needing help sometimes - we all do). On blogging, check out this post on stephmodo: http://www.stephmodo.com/2008/07/some-thoughts-on-blogging.html
ReplyDeleteThis is something I'm still struggling with as well - on both fronts. But I'll focus on the blogging.
ReplyDeleteI use an RSS feed and then I even organize the feeds into categories - news blogs, personal blogs, shopping blogs, blogs of friends and family members, blogs that just do memes, things related to celebrities and entertainment, like People.com, comics, etc.
That way, when I sit down to read for a bit, I can always just pick one folder, read those, and then decide if I want to keep reading or go do something else. Because I read a LOT of blogs and I tried to narrow it down, but it still was hardly narrow at all. I don't know why this works for me, but it does - it's like self-made time management you know.
I also try to open a new tab for every website I want to check during the day first thing, that way if I get up and walk away, I won't forget something I wanted to do - and it gives me an idea of what my "online day" looks like and how long it could take me if I did all of it all at once, as opposed to in small chunks.
Other than that, I'm pretty much still a mess.
Oh boy... it seems you read my mind about being overwhelmed. It doesn't matter how many kids you have- I only have 1. Trying to be 40 different things is hard no matter how many kids you have. Sometimes it's the little ones who aren't in school that take up more time too. You don't really have a break in the day (except for naps if you're lucky). I don't really know how to do it- I don't feel like I do really well. Some things I've done to try and help me are: hiring a cleaner to come just twice a month. For me, having a messy house sends me into panics, and puts me in a foul mood. But I couldn't keep up with it. Of course I pick up and clean up messes almost every day still. But, I leave the tedious stuff for my cleaner- you know like wiping the baseboards, washing the walls, vacuming the stairs :), washing the floors. It has helped TREMENDOUSLY! I looked around and interviewed several people... the best part is she is SO cheap! $15 and hour is all! It's so worth it. Also, when it comes to dinner I've decided to keep it simple (for now). My husband likes to cook, so he offered to cook once per week, and then we set a night every week that we order in. So, that only leaves me with 4-5 nights to cook. We also have a "babysitting swap" with some friends where we swap kids every other weekend. One night a month we take their kids and they go on a nice date and then we swap the next week and they watch our little girl so we can go out. It's been a great way to ensure we get our date nights without having to pay a babysitter, or call your parents every time:). Hope some of this helps! At least you know you're not the only mom out there feeling like this! I think it's a universal feeling.
ReplyDeleteI have started struggling with my blogging addiction lately! I've stopped posting every day because I can't seem to think of something for every day, so I'm only posting when the mood strikes. But I check blogs an insane amount...like 10 times a day. Through google reader, at least that makes it easier/faster, but I still spend way too much time on the computer, and I feel like I've been neglecting my kids/home/husband a bit lately. I need to take a step back I think and just...be a mom for a while. I think that will help with my overwhelmed feelings as well.
ReplyDeleteMy best advice and something I have learned over many years is Keep It Simple! How many activities do your kids need to be in? Do you have to read all those blogs, do you need to respond to them all...no way! I write in my blog when the kids do something cute or not so cute or when something fun has happend in our life as for reading others maybe every other week. Basically what I am saying question everything, every activity, every class, every playdate, everything with this question what is best for my family? What are their current needs not wants true needs and only you and your husband can decide that. One thing I know they need is a happy, unstressed mommy and how are you going to make sure that get her!
ReplyDeletewhen i first started my blog, it was merely a way to keep friends and family updated regarding my pregnancy. almost a year later, i'm totally addicted. i check my reader first thing in the morning and sometimes throughout the day. it's a whole new world i never knew existed. and as much as i love it, it's sometimes the bane of my existence. i feel so inadequate compared to most of these other people. i mean, if i could farm and sew and write and procreate with as much style and eco-friendliness as the rest of these people, i wouldn't be me.
ReplyDeleteand i struggle with feeling like i have too much to do during the day and feeling like i'm not really doing anything.
oh. i suppose this didn't help you at all, did it? i suppose i should just say that you wrote what i feel. so thank you for that.
see? forfeiting some sleep to check my google reader before bed paid off this time. thank you!
Usually I am always a "lurker", but I will comment this time, since I feel the EXACT same way as you. I have been even thinking of posting a very similar post as yours on my blog. I have two little boys and feel like I can hardly keep up with anything. I also can lose myself in blog reading and actually start to feel really bad about myself as a mother/person etc... because I read about so many other creative and talented people that seem to be able to do and balance it all and of course do amazing activities etc for their children. You are not alone! I just have to remind myself that I am there for my kids at home all the time, and that is enough right now, it is ok if my house isn't always perfect. I completely relate. I also use a reader and I find I rarely comment anymore, another thing to do....
ReplyDelete