This article was on "Most Emailed" list of the New York Times all last week. It's an interesting article about how parents (namely NY parents) have taken to co-sleeping. And it seems that the article took more of an approach of how parents have taken to the family bed out of desperation rather than pure desire to share their king-sized sheets.
And while I truly thinks it is a personal decision between mother and father regarding the sleeping habits they will instill in their home, this article made me think. Because if you have children, you have sleeping issues. No child, let alone baby, is a perfect sleeper 100% of the time. There is no possible way with how much their little bodies and minds are growing, learning, developing, and moving. If nothing else, the article reminds us that we are all in the learning boat about how to get the most z's for tired bodies.
We don't co-sleep in our home. Not out of disdain for sharing quarters, but rather in the beginning I was too freaked about rolling onto her that I kept her in her bassinet close by. And by five months of age, she seemed to need to fall asleep on her own anyway. What do you do?
Sidenote: the woman's home that the writer interviewed is actually the editor of Domino mag. Check out the pics - fabulous home style no?
Interesting article. Okay, I love that woman's house. Great rooms.
ReplyDeleteIzzy slept in her moses basket/bassinet in her first month and when she would wake up in the night I would occasionally leave her in bed with us from the early morning waking, but I was always worried she was too warm or I would roll on her and neither Alan nor I could sleep well. When I was in the states she had a hard time time going back to sleep in the middle of the night and so I would leave her in bed with me. But generally, no, she does not share our bed. We moved her to her own room at 2 months which was earlier then I thought I would, but our walls were so thin in our old place and we had a baby monitor AND I would check on her a dozen times.
I agree with you - I think it's a personal decision too and one that should work best for the baby. People told me to let Izzy cry it out with her mid-night wakings, but it just didn't work for our situation. People living above and below us would be disturbed, plus, I knew by feeding her or cuddling her I could get her to sleep faster then ignoring her (at least as a short-term solution). One thing I have learned about parenting is that there is no right or wrong answer. Thanks for sharing the article. So true that we are all in the same boat, apparently even with celebs.
Oh, I always scan through the top ten most emailed list on the NYTimes too! :)
I have two really close friends that co-sleep, and I thought that I would want to as well when I had my first. But nursing in bed was hard for me at first. In addition, Addie snored. Kenneth put Addie in her own room by 3 weeks because none of us could sleep. That was hard for me, but really, It's been great to have "Sarah and Kenneth time" with out a baby in the bed! The friends I know who do co sleep have REALLY struggled to get their kids to sleep through the night...even as toddlers...and frankly, I just don't do well without sleep, so not co-sleeping was better for us. I thought that I would like it, but I realized that I needed my own time at night so that I could be a better mother during the day!
ReplyDeleteI think parenting style/choices are always personal...but some clearly involve safety which makes it tricky. I was always told that the biggest factor in not staying clear of SIDS was co-sleeping because of the chance of suffocation in either the bedding or from one of the parents. This made my decision easy (although, I did make a few acceptions):
ReplyDeleteCole was born in Boston, where we lived in a teeny tiny apartment with one bedroom. His crib was at the foot of our bed. So, he always slept in the crib which was VERY comforting to me: 1.I could always hear him and would immediately wake up if he needed me. 2.Apparently, sleeping in the same room with parents (when the baby is a newborn) also decreases chances for SIDS because of the chance of getting less of a "solid sleep." So, our routine was to let Cole sleep in his crib until he woke up for a feeding. I would bring him into our bed for his middle of the night feedings (I always made sure I was propped up with pillows and put pillows on both sides of me) and then put him back in bed when I was done with feeding. The only acception was when he would wake up at 4:30 or 5:00am and I just needed more sleep. Cole would lay on my chest while I was propped up with pillows, but comfortable enough to snooze for just an hour longer. I always feared being too tired that I would "drop" him. This never happened, but the risk is there.
If we had a separate bedroom for Cole (or baby #2), I think I would do the Moses basket in our bedroom for the first couple of months.
I obviously don't have any experience with older kids, where it seems like co-sleeping is a bigger issue. But, I do love the freedom that it allows me to have taught Cole to be able to fall asleep on his own. He isn't "dependant" on either of us to go to sleep, and consequently sleeps SO well at night! I know that I'm someone who needs my sleep big time (and so is Cole), so I can't imagine our family switching to co-sleeping in the future. I think we would wake up grumpy.
[As a matter of fact, a couple of weeks ago when Cole was teething and he would wake up 10-15 times at night, I got to the point where I finally brought him in bed with us at 2am. It DID NOT WORK. He tossed and turned and socked me in the face while Brad slept through it all and I was wide awake.]
Good article. Good thoughts. The nice thing about sleeping issues is: although they can be very tricky, it seems like you CAN "learn" a couple of skills that can really help. (I'm not counting out the fact that every child is different and some have major issues when it comes to sleeping..because I have/had one!)
My sister and I had just a sleeping discussion so this was really interesting to me. Laney slept in our room for 2 or 3 weeks and then I couldn't handle it. She would moan while sleeping and it kept me up all night. I moved her to the next room and could still hear her. But I was able to sleep.
ReplyDeleteMy sister has 5 kids though with the oldest being almost 5. He has some sleeping issues and wakes up in the middle of the night and makes it to their bed. He has being doing it for a couple of years. She no longer wakes up to him getting in their bed in the middle of the night but has recently taken him to a doctor to work on his sleeping habits. The interesting thing is though that one of her triplets recently siad to her, "Mom, I want to sleep in your bed like Seth does." I guess Ellie doesn't realize that Seth starts in his own bed. Because of this, I think I won't ever be a co-sleeper. She is having a hard time getting Seth out of her bed and know another one wants to join them. I keep teasing her that pretty soone all 5 of her kids will be sleeping in her bed. So, my point is, I don't want to have my kids all trying to sleep with me. I like my space and my sleep way too much.